Its 2008

Should i start this with a sigh? well.. *haih*... its 2008 already and my life still feel empty. i still havent achieve anything and .... *haih*.. ya..i noe another sigh is not good rite? its new year..i should start fresh like years before and do something about my life that full of nothing. no matter what i do, i just don feel the spirit. every now and then i always wonder... and ask myself "why'? arghhh..its frustrating. don u think so? well...i do...what should i do to make myself feel fulfill? whatever i do i always feel soemthing is missing. hmm...do i need a lover? but....eventhough i would love to have one. i just feel like i don really need one. or is it because i just got to low self confidence when its come to people and love? yah...i always have that problem.. telling people that i love them and believing that they love me back seem difficult to me. is it because i always tell myself to not to put hope on anything? well..since i'm too afraid people wont love me back and always think that i'm not likeable? arghhh!!!!! this is just so frustrating!!! until now i still thinking what shud i do... first shud i change myself for other people and not be me? second, how to lose weight and get determine on it?gaining weight is so frustrating.... damn... sometimes, i really hope there is doraemon. u noe doraemon rite? if there is doraemon, i can just comeback every day and say "doraemon!!!help me!!! i want to lose weight, i want to be happy, i want people to noe i love them without me saying anything and give me a magic tool that can make people to like and love me..." ya ya..i noe.. in my dream rite? hahaha.. i just hope i can become a better person. seeing people live the life that i dream for really make me jealous sometimes. i noe i shudnt do that, but, sometimes, i feel that everyday i dream for is to far away from me. to hard to reach. telling myself to think positive and go on is tiring sometimes.... arghh!!!! i just don care..i just want to be happy and hope one day i will success and make my parent proud for the first time. hahhaha...laughter can be the medicine rite? smile always and be good. god... i'm just tooo....*whatever*....hahahaha...